I Think Again

I think again of yester’ year 

I think of what I had and feared 

I miss the ease I had back then

How easy it was to strive and win

I miss the house my little room

I miss the joys ended too soon

I miss the family miss the friends 

But all things must come to an end 

I walk this hall one last time

Before it crumbles down fine
The smell is such I cannot abide 

And so my emotions again ride

I hate this house and all it’s rooms 

It’s events are nothing but tombs

The fun between hunger and fear

God’s assurance oh so near

I hate that kitchen oh so small 

It ceiling low, not very tall

No room to work within the walls

And pest control needed a call

The living room so full of junk

No space for life I often thunk

My home indeed so very small

But I miss the house where I grew tall

My room indeed had not a door 

It fell on me as it broke before 

The vent as well was not well 

My child hood home a living hell

The life I had was never fine

The food simple of which we dined

The work was constant without doubt 

To my room I often would pout 

The sands of time cover the past
The sorrow now will not last
I miss it only cuz life’s so hard 
The grass was greener little card

I miss my home I had back then
My spirit’s want can never win
I must press on to better days
Not be trapped in my yester ways

And so I walk this hall once more 
Forsake my wants and close the door 
I will smile at a brighter day
As I forge my trail in a new way

Good ol' Days

I'm looking back on the good ol' days
The fun the had the fun was made
The times a joy the times we hurt
I'm looking back on the good ol' days

I'm building my brand new day
Pulling out weeds and hoping they'll stay
Building myself from what was left
I'm building my brand new day.

These are still good ol' days.
Despite what I miss in the maze.
The fun I had while just a kid.
These are still good ol' days.

I can't judge what's coming next
I hope to meet the guy that's best.
I'm struggling through doubt and fear.
I can't judge what's coming next.

I'll look back and call this good ol' days
Things I've done the errors made
I'm struggling through oh so much
These are still good ol' days.

Update Sept 2019

I'm trying to figure out how to start this. I need to give you guys an update but honest I am not feeling much of anything right now. Honest, I'M BORED! And that's 90% of my problem. LOL

So I've been up to MANY things. Especially school. I've been working through two classes and MATH. Which I've never really been good at. There is just so much I missed growing up. I'm hoping to pass the test this week and have it done and over with.

Been working through Khan's academe and IXL to help with my math.

Starting next Monday, I'll be taking a CNA (Certified Nurses' assistant) Class to help get me into the medical field.

I hope my dead boredom gets fixed by then. This is RIDICULOUS.

School... music... Music I'm not really doing much. I wrote another poem not long ago, but it may be a while before I publish it. It's not done.

Art. I'm decorating pop sockets. And working on a color by number.

Still house cleaning. Not babysitting much. Simply school is the priority and it doesn't leave much time for playing. (Amongst other things that I don't want to talk about)

Speaking of playing, that's one thing I don't do as much. I want to. But haven't had time. Maybe after I read my textbook for an hour tonight I can pull something out. Not sure if I want to or not.

Writing. I'm laughing that I even thought of it to comment on. I've done a few poems. but haven't done much writing in general.

Pray I stay focused and sane as I try to move forward in life.