Monday, February 8, 2016

Introvert VS Extrovert

For the last few years, I've been putting some time, effort, and study into understanding people; from external, like clothing and body language, to deep down who they are.

There are many levels to people. There are likes and dislikes, what their family situation was at home, who they inspire to be, and deep down, who they are.

All people were born with a core personality programmed into their DNA. This is at the heart of every individual, and can help us to understand what makes them tick.

Today, I'd like to go into MBTI, Myers Briggs Type Testing, to show you one level in which we can understand people. MBTI categorizes people by four main things. Introvert/ Extrovert, Intuitive/Sensor, Thinker/Feeler, and  Judger/ Perceiver.  Today, I'm just going to cover the first.

Introvert, Extrovert is probably the hardest to pin down. Why? Because it depends on how good a person is at going into their 'Growth' state. (I'll get into this completely later) The four letter code is just a key, there is WAY more to it than just a bunch of letters. And with I vs E you switch between them as you go into your different mindsets.

For example; I'm an INFJ. This basically tells you that I'm most comfortable when I'm seeing the world through Introverted Intuition; This is my 'Flow' State, where I feel the most comfortable. However, I can also go into my 'Growth' state, which basically acts like a co-pilot. This, for me is EXTROVERTED feeling. This is true of all types, we all switch between our first, and second mindset. And they are ALWAYS opposites on the I vs E account. Because of this factor, it's often hard for people to pin down whether they are an introvert, or an extrovert.

Now that I've explained this, let me explain what the difference is between the two. Most people think this is the difference between 'shy' and 'not shy.' If you believe in this, you have been misinformed. Often times, extroverts have been labeled as 'shy' and introverts have not. It is a good way to get a clue, but it hardly gives you a decent picture of the concept.

I personally think of Introverts/ Extroverts as givers/takers.  This might sound harsh for a few of you, but it is closer to fact.

I think the best way to explain this, is to take you back in time to the oldest known personality tester known to exist; DISC. Despite being the oldest, this is probably the simplest one to learn, and the best one to use to understand introversion and extroversion. (DISC is it's modern name. It has an older one that I can't recall of the top of my head.)

You see, instead of asking four questions, DISC asks two. This tester asks first, are you an introvert, or are you an extrovert? Since this is what we are trying to figure out, we move on to the second question. 'Are you more concerned about the task, or about the people?'

You see, not all introverts are anti people. Not all extroverts are pro- people. This is where most people get stuck, and therefore miss type themselves and strive to be someone they are not.

Let me move on to explain the four letters of DISC. You see, instead of MBTI's shortened form, DISC stands for it's actual types labeled in the test. D= Determined; D's are known for their ability to lead a job. They are extroverted, task-minded people. While people don't make them tired, they also forget they have feelings. Young D's are often times bullies, they like to be in charge. Unfortunately, because they are not people minded, they tend to abuse those around them.

The second letter is I. The I stands for Involved. I's are extroverted people-people. They LOVE being around others. They are energized by helping. The more they are around crowds, the happier they are. They go shopping, not to shop, but to rub shoulders with a town. These are the people MOST people label as extroverts, it is also only half the story.

S. S is the third letter of DISC. The S stands for sensitive. These people are the Introverted people-minded individuals. While being around others wears them out, they still go out of their way to make others happy. These are often miss- labeled. Because if they get hurt, they become WORSE bullies than the D's. Why? Because they are so aware of who you are, they know how to hurt you the worst. They are not concerned about jobs, they are concerned about you. If overwhelmed, they become mean and nasty, or scared and broken. However, when they are at peace with themselves, they can calm even the darkest of arguments so it benefits both sides.

The last, and final letter is the C. C stands for Calculative. These are your introverted task people. The don't want to see you, they don't want to be around you... and they don't want you to disrupt their 'work'. This is your most well known introvert. But as you have already seen, it's again only half the picture of the introverted spectrum. C's LOVE books. They love math, ledgers, knowledge... They like to know the task, and there can be people in the room for an hour and they not know they are there at all.

Now, let me get back to this topic. Introverts give. They give time, they give knowledge, they give compassion, they give energy, they give. Their energy comes from within. When they are around others, they feel drained. Some even can feel their life energy being sucked from them. Most HATE small talk, because it's a waste of their already low resource.

I've heard of pastors who are introverts unwilling to talk to their congregation because "They are afraid of taking up too much of the other person's valuable time." Many introverts struggle with the idea of gifts. We see it as bribery. I am almost scared of a present, because that means I've got to give something back, or show that I like it. Even if I don't. Then, because of my 'F' nature, (Feeler) I'm also afraid of hurting the other person's feelings. (For those who are wondering. On the DISC test I tested an S.)

Extroverts take. They have to be reminded to slow down, and be considerate of other people, even the I's. Because their energy comes from other people, they need others in order to have energy. This doesn't mean they won't ever feel tired around others, we all get tired eventually, but it does mean they want to go back out and party soon. Extroverts love to go. They will find excuses to be around others, they will call attention to themselves.

Now, this doesn't always mean they are front stage. I' know plenty of extroverts who are stage shy. They don't want you to just watch them. It's not satisfactory, they want to be one on one controlling your life. They want to feel like you revolve around them. They need this, they crave this... and if they don't get it- Ol' Mister D shows up and you have a bully.

When an extrovert is wronged, the extrovert squeaks to everyone. Nothing is private. They'll gossip about what happened until the cows come home. Sometimes, even destroying the person who originally did the action.

For example,

This is classic for this type. Not always do they say WHO they are talking about, but it will be public. 

Introverts don't like being in the limelight. When they talk, it's normally bout themselves, or if it is about another person, it's to help the other person understand the issue. They never mean it to cause harm, and it's only to people they trust deeply. Most Introverts listen more than they talk. And if they talk it gets deep fast. 

Introverts/Extroverts, they are not what you expect are they? Not always are the people you think are introverts.... introverts, or the extroverts, extroverts. 

There is way more on this topic that could be said, but I'd be typing for a month. 

This is VK signing out. 

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